About Affairs

The following discussion is not meant to imply that all members of a particular culture experience affairs in one way.

Extramarital affairs are most frequently experienced as completely traumatic and immoral in the United States. If a public figure strays from their marriage they are frequently disgraced and fans feel tremendously let down and [...]

Patterns and nuances in affairs do differ depending on sexual orientation. The following discussion about lesbians and affairs describes some of these themes, however, these are generalizations and do not necessarily apply to any one couple.
Emotional ties play a central role in most [...]

Emotional affair? I thought affairs meant extramarital sex!
He tells me they’re just friends. Am I being too possessive?
Can’t I have friends of the opposite sex?
Isn’t it better to give him a long leash?
Emotional affairs have become a hot topic in the last several years, resulting in much needed clarity for some and complete [...]

This is the third in a series of posts addressing children and affairs. In Part I, I described the effects affairs can have on children; in Part II, I addressed the question of whether or not to disclose the affair to your children and started to discuss ways of doing this that are most [...]

Your Role as Parents
No matter how devastated you are, you are still faced with the task of keeping it together for the children. This can be a double-edged sword. The immediacy and sometimes enormity of their needs can function as a welcome distraction from the pain you are in on the one hand; on [...]

In this post I will address how children are effected by affairs. In subsequent posts I will discuss the effects on adult children of affairs and offer suggestions for parents involved in affairs on how to best support their children through this difficult time.
Unfortunately, it is frequently true that when caught up in an [...]

I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed. Actually, I was surprised, if I had to guess, I would have thought the figure to be much lower. But a statistic is just that, and doesn’t tell you anything about your own individual situation.
Feeling torn between two [...]

I am setting up this blog because I find myself increasingly moved by the efforts of my clients who chose to work through the devastating effects of affairs, whether individually, or in couples and by the profoundly deepening connections that this work can bring, almost as if the couple is discovering each other for the [...]