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The Six “R’s” of Healing an Affair

The Six “R’s” of Healing an Affair

You might be surprised  at how upset your partner is about your affair.    The amount of rage, and hatred directed at you can seem overwhelming, as well as the depression and withdrawal that your partner might also be experiencing.  Although you both might want to work it out, you can find yourselves tossed about in  a turbulent sea of emotions.  You may feel desperate for a way to fix things,

“How Can I Believe Him When He Says He’s Not Having an Affair?”

“How Can I Believe Him When He Says He’s Not Having an Affair?”

It can be completely crazy-making to feel like you cannot get at the truth. Something doesn’t feel right between the two of you, he’s not around as much as he used to be, not as interested in you. You suspect he might be seeing someone else. You demand he look you straight in the eye and tell you this isn’t so. He does. Can you be certain you now know? Not according to

“Mad Men” in Affairs

“Mad Men” in Affairs

“Men weren’t really the enemy – – they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill”   Betty Friedan, Christian Science Monitor, April 1974 “Mad Men” portrays this “mystique” … women as subordinate and submissive, housewives, maybe secretaries, always standing behind their men, and only able to derive status from their husbands’ positions. The women who dared to deviate from this arrangement paid dearly (as did…

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Affair Proof Your Marriage?

Affair Proof Your Marriage?

Can you?  Is this possible?  Many writers present plans that are supposed to be near fool-proof.  Some are aimed at husbands; some are aimed at wives.  Do this, be that way, and you can prevent your partner from straying.  It’s appealing, and, on the whole,

Why Don’t I Want to Apologize for the Affair? Part I

Why Don’t I Want to Apologize for the Affair? Part I

It can be confusing to know that you have betrayed your partner’s trust, to see him or her so devastated, and yet be unable to feel true remorse. This lack of remorse can be the final nail in the coffin of a marriage.  You can see that it leaves your partner feeling more betrayed, enraged, disgusted, and/or withdrawn.  You can see their panic and feel the tenuous threads holding you together fraying.  What you might not know or want to…

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How to Help Your Partner Heal From Your Affair

How to Help Your Partner Heal From Your Affair

The discovery of an affair is traumatic for everyone involved. However, there are important things you can do to help your partner heal over time. It can be useful to think about trauma as something that actually wants to heal.  If provided with the appropriate conditions, it frequently does. Your partner  probably feel that his or her  world,  life,  identity, and  marriage has been shattered.  Natural reactions  include feeling betrayed, panicked, rageful and vengeful, and ultimately very deep, and previously…

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Should I Tell My Partner About The Affair?

Should I Tell My Partner About The Affair?

Most likely if you are reading this you have been struggling with whether to tell your partner for a while. It’s natural to feel paralyzed, and unable to think deeply about your options. The issues involved can seem endlessly complicated; any route you take resulting in emotional upheaval for everyone involved. Revealing your affair will undoubtedly alter many important relationships in ways that you cannot predict or control. The situation is less difficult if you are clear that you want…

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