If you were born as the result of an affair, life may be difficult for you in ways that may be hard for others to understand. It is really a unique experience with no parallels that I can think of.
Finding out that your mother or father is not your biological mother or father, that there is and/or has been ill will towards you for something you had no choice in can be shocking and life altering. Perhaps you have found out that agreements were made to keep your very existence a secret which can have a shattering effect on your sense of self. Before the revelation you may have lived with an inexplicable feeling of not fitting in, not belonging and or feeling unwanted, and/or of not being able to trust others. As an adult it may be hard for you to form stable and long-lasting relationships. Or perhaps it’s just that something never quite felt right, something that you couldn’t put your finger on that kept you in a state of unease.
Therapy offers a kind of relationship that can counteract what you have had to endure, perhaps alone, for many years. The painfully complex emotional experiences that you live with can finally find a place to be understood and treated with respect, empathy and compassion. We can look closely at what has happened to you and what does happen to you when you try to establish bonds with others, while at the same time trying to cope with internal signals that tell you to protect yourself, to not trust, to stay at a distance.
If you would like to discuss the possibility of working together please feel free to contact me at (415) 751-6515 or (925) 948-0562 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I have 31 years of experience assisting with relationships, trauma and identity issues. If you live outside of the San Francisco Bay Area I offer tele-therapy sessions for individuals. If you prefer to work with someone in your area there is a geographical listing of people who are effective with affairs on the “Links” page of this blog.