Are you left wondering how this could have happened? Being the other person is a very unique experience that frequently comes with emotionally intense highs and lows. Questions arise about whether this relationship is good for you or not. The answer to this can swing wildly from yes to no and back again, depending on how important you feel you are to your affair partner at the moment. The truth is that your experience of the affair is a paradoxical one… where, for example, you feel both cherished and devalued. The social isolation that is frequently required to keep the affair going can make things even more painful.
It’s common for people in your situation to feel like they’ll never find anyone else, so why not settle for what you have. A kind of resignation can set in… a feeling that you don’t have what it takes to change anything and too much fear of being alone to end it, or stand up for yourself.
Therapy can help you develop a new relationship with yourself. Coming to understand what has happened and continues to happen on a deeper level can help you evolve into a person who feels more confident and free to act in your own best interests. You can gain an understanding of your deepest needs and beliefs about yourself that can set you on a life course that feels full of potential.
I am a Marriage and Family Therapist with 31 years of experience assisting individuals and couples with their relationships. I am there to understand you, and help you to understand yourself and eventually chart a course of action that feels the most fitting for you at the deepest level. You can reach me at (415) 751-6515 or (925) 948-0562 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are outside of the San Francisco Bay Area, and still want to meet with me, I offer tele-therapy sessions. If you would like to find someone in your area there is a geographical listing of therapists who work effectively with affairs on my “Links” page.