Marriage and Family Therapist
“I have 38 years of experience and currently practice in Walnut Creek where I provide marriage counseling and individual therapy and specialize in love affairs. I also have extensive experience assisting with a wide variety of emotional difficulties that are encountered in marriages and by the individual. I have taught at New College of California and U.C. Berkeley Extension.”
Affairs in film and television series are often portrayed as exciting adventures, fun and mischievous; a way of breaking free from oppression… a conduit to
Over the years I have helped many Asian American couples heal from affairs. Many of the couples involved have been first or second generation Chinese,
When couples get stuck trying to emerge from the emotional devastation of an affair, it feels awful. The same hurtful arguments are repeated over and
Obsessing over a partner’s infidelity is a natural response to the trauma of discovery. Most individuals find themselves unable, at times, to stop turning over
In this post I will address how children are impacted by their parent’s affairs. In subsequent posts I will discuss the effects on adult children
“We have the same conversations over and over. She gets triggered and tells me about it. She’s in a great deal of pain. I listen
I don’t know why she can’t get over this. I ended the affair, have been spending much more time at home, doing more around the
Of all of the people who show up for therapy struggling with some aspect of an affair, those in the infatuation, pre-affair (or maybe emotional affair)
The revelation of an affair is frequently a shocking experience. In long-term relationships the fidelity of one’s partner is, more often than not, taken for
“How can I ever trust you again?” “How could I have ever trusted you?”“Trust me, this will never happen again.” “How can I win back
By “getting over” I don’t mean forgetting about it, or somehow making it okay. But I am writing to you if you find yourself consumed
“Should I give my partner an ultimatum…the other person or me?” This is a question I hear frequently. Discovering your partner’s affair can be traumatic
It’s definitely what most people believe, and tell their spouses early on. “If you ever have an affair, it’s over!” There are many reasons some find
The revelation of infidelity can bring great emotional upheaval; everything suddenly feeling upside down and inside out. The relationship can feel shattered. Yet, in spite
You might be surprised at how upset your partner is about your affair. The amount of rage directed at you can be overwhelming. Your spouse’s
In order to help yourself when you can’t stop thinking about the affair, it is important to understand the different functions obsessing can serve in your healing
It can be completely crazy-making to feel like you cannot get at the truth. Something doesn’t feel right between the two of you, he’s not
“Men weren’t really the enemy – – they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there
During the traumatic throes of the discovery of an affair, finding the right label, and therefore, singular explanation may feel like a life preserver. As
Some time ago I received a call from the Dr. Phil Show wanting to know if had any information about children of affairs. I did
I have just come across clarification on a statistic I cited in “Can Relationships That Start as Affairs Succeed?” In that post I stated that
Emotional affair? I thought affairs meant extramarital sex! He tells me they’re just friends. Am I wrong to be concerned? Can’t I have friends of
This is the third in a series of posts addressing children and affairs. In Part I, I described the effects affairs can have on children;
Your Role as Parents No matter how devastated you are, you are still faced with the task of keeping it together for the children. This
If you are involved with a married person and reading this, chances are that you have already gone through the initial stage of infatuation and
I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed. “Succeed” is defined as the couple staying together, rather than
You are probably in shock. You might feel as if the floor has opened up under you. Suddenly, there is an emergency and a
Most likely if you are reading this you have been struggling with whether to tell your partner for a while. It’s natural to feel paralyzed,
If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, has it made a sound? The intrigue this question provokes is related to