About Affairs

Articles about affairs written by Susan Berger, MFT

Susan Berger About Affairs

Susan Berger
Marriage and Family Therapist

“I have 38 years of experience and currently practice in Walnut Creek where I provide marriage counseling and individual therapy and specialize in love affairs. I also have extensive experience assisting with a wide variety of emotional difficulties that are encountered in marriages and by the individual. I have taught at New College of California and U.C. Berkeley Extension.”

Popular Articles

When couples get stuck trying to emerge from the emotional devastation of an affair, it feels awful. The same hurtful arguments are repeated over and over, resulting in scabs yet again being torn off emotional wounds, and new injuries being inflicted. After a while, it can seem like divorce is the only answer. It may […]

Affairs in film and television series are often portrayed as exciting adventures, fun and mischievous; a way of breaking free from oppression… a conduit to a joyful existence. Embarking on an affair can seem like a solution to marital difficulties that have led to boredom, depression, low self-esteem or intense loneliness. The reality of the […]

I have just come across clarification on a statistic I cited in “Can Relationships That Start as Affairs Succeed?” In that post I stated that 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed. I always thought that sounded a bit high. Recently this figure has been clarified by Frank Pittman. In the study he is […]

Emotional affair? I thought affairs meant extramarital sex! He tells me they’re just friends. Am I wrong to be concerned? Can’t I have friends of the opposite sex? Isn’t it better to give them a long leash? Emotional affairs have become a hot topic in the last several years, resulting in much needed clarity for […]

If you are involved with a married person and reading this, chances are that you have already gone through the initial stage of infatuation and blinding bliss.  In this initial stage you have not wanted to think too deeply about the realities you have been creating in your life by pursuing this relationship. But as […]

I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed. “Succeed” is defined as the couple staying together, rather than by the quality of the relationship.   I was surprised by the statistic.   If I had to guess, I would have thought the figure to be much lower. (For an […]

Most likely if you are reading this you have been struggling with whether to tell your partner for a while. It’s natural to feel paralyzed, and unable to think deeply about your options. The issues involved can seem endlessly complicated; any route you take resulting in emotional upheaval for everyone involved. Revealing your affair will […]

You are probably in shock.   You might feel as if the floor has opened up under you. Suddenly, there is an emergency and a strong need to take some action right away; you may have already left or thrown your partner out, or you may feel on the verge of doing so. But this […]

If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, has it made a sound? The intrigue this question provokes is related to a central idea in postmodern philosophy, which is; a phenomena cannot be truly perceived apart from the context in which it is situated. A very obvious example of this would […]

In this post I will address how children are impacted by their parent’s affairs. In subsequent posts I will discuss the effects on adult children of affairs and offer suggestions for parents involved in affairs on how to best support their children through this difficult time. You may also wish to read about “Children of […]

Obsessing over a partner’s infidelity is a natural response to the trauma of discovery.  Most individuals find themselves unable, at times, to stop turning over in their minds the lies, snippets of conversation, unanswered questions and things that never  added up. Re-visualizing the same devastating images of the affair couple together is also very common.  […]

“We have the same conversations over and over.  She gets triggered and tells me about it.  She’s in a great deal of pain.  I listen and tell her I’m sorry. I am sympathetic.  Sometimes she even lets me hold her.  But we just keep going through the same events, the same emotions, just as intense, again […]